BrianMillerMagic
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Random Musings No. 2The long awaited sequel to Random Musings No. 1 is here! These are just a couple of bits out of my stand-up comedy material. I have no idea if it will translate from the stage to text. If it doesn't come off as funny, don't worry about it. Pity laughter is okay with me.
"I’d like to tell you about this great new hang out spot I discovered: YourTube. Let me explain, because I feel I must. I was planning on taking a trip over to YouTube to see what the idiots of the universe are up to now, and apparently I made a typo as I tried to type in the address. So instead of YouTube I got YourTube. Now, YourTube is quite a different type of environment than YouTube. First off, there is no overtly ambitious personalized welcome at YourTube. Instead I was immediately barraged by Hot Babes, Airport Crashes, Free Ringtones, Street Fights and Pamela Anderson. The best thing about YourTube is their advertising strategy, 'YourTube: What you need, when you need it.' And thank heavens for that because I had nearly forgotten that I need both Free Ringtones and Pamela Anderson RIGHT at that exact moment."
"iPod Shuffles are utterly useless. There, I said it. They just…shuffle. I think what happened is that some intern over at Apple went, 'Okay, we’ve suckered hundreds of thousands of people into spending money on technology they don’t need, but what more can we do? How about an iPod that gives you absolutely no control over your music whatsoever?' And some other guy in the room said, 'Doesn’t that completely defeat the purpose of an mp3 player and represent a digression in technology?' 'Yes…and we’ll sell millions of them!'
I really think that's how it went down, I mean come on - a regular iPod has a shuffle feature! Not only does it have a shuffle, but it has a salsa and a tango."
"Have you guys seen those informercials that are on at about 3:00 in the morning? They're the ones that last 30-40 minutes, like a sitcom or something. Yeah. So picture this: my buddy and I are half-asleep on the couch watching one of these marathon infomercials. It’s going on and on about some weed-whacking all-in-one super duper lawn care product. About 20 minutes into it, the voice-over says, 'Is there anything this product can't do?' I kid you not, my friend looks up and says, '...it can't make a pizza.' "
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Michael Kras
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It sure was long awaited, and it was hilarious! Thanks for these wonderful musings!
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Michael Kras
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My own tiny musing, hope you enjoy:
"Redundancy is so.... redundant, you know?"
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