BrianMillerMagic
|
Conspiracy Theories and StuffWhere have all the conspiracy theorists gone? I miss them; they were fun. “Man never walked on the moon, it was all trick photography. Look at the flag – it’s waving, but there’s no wind on the moon! Look at the shadow it’s at the wrong angle!” or “George W. Bush was behind 9/11!”
I thought for sure they’d come out of hiding today, when on the same day that Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, NASA bombed the moon. That’s right – we bombed the f***ing moon. I thought it was a joke, like I was getting punked or something. Cause that’s not the sort of thing that happens on accident. You can’t aim at North Korea and accidentally hit the moon! It doesn’t work like that.
I was talking to one of my buddies about it and he goes, “Yeah, but it was friendly fire.” … Of course it was friendly fire; there’s no one on the moon. I will say that if there’s even the remote possibility that there exists intelligent life out there somewhere, they’re no longer willing to be friendly with us. Not after witnessing us bomb our own moon just for kicks. Just to see what happens - that’s all. For all we know, that blast knocked the moon off its trajectory just enough to throw off the whole solar system.
And while we're on the topic of our poor attention span and lack of hard news in this country (the US for you Canadians), let's think back to July, a few days before July 4th. North Korea threatened to blow up Hawaii, and our government took the threat very seriously. Didn't know that? Of course you didn't. Why? Because the same day North Korea threatened to blow up Hawaii, MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!
So North Korea goes, "Alright, if you don't give us what we wanted, Hawaii is gonna disappear." And then Michael Jackson died and we went, "F***, forget about Hawaii - MJ'S DEAD!" And of course Hawaii sitting there going, "Uh, mainland, hello? We don't have nuclear shields or anything. A little help here."
Rant over.
~Brian
|
