A Warm Future

Liam · A Warm Future

There is a creative writting magasine in my area that has monthly contests. Each month a new question is put forth and people email in there ~250 essays on the topic. I entered this month in the style of "A Modest Proposal"
The question was: How do you want the world to change in the next ten years?

A Warm Future
In ten years, I hope global warming has gotten way out of hand. These days it’s quite the heated topic. There are a lot of anti-global warming activists fogging our minds with rules about not fogging our skies. But these people are pessimists, who refuse to look on the bright side of a smoggy atmosphere. Global warming could be the best thing that ever happened to humanity. You just have to be optimistic.
All of our problems would just melt away. No more paying for the tanning salon or heating bill. Sunglasses will be the norm, so everyone will look cool. There will be no carbon taxes, it’ll be too late for that. Every lake will feel like a hot spring, and every desert roaming animal will have an unlimited domain. Burning things with magnifying glasses will be more fun and more effective than ever. The people who own land a few kilometres from the sea will have beautiful oceanfront property. The bottled water industry will obtain unprecedented success, as will the antiperspirant deodorant companies. But this won’t be reality without your help.
Global warming is something we all must help achieve. The ozone won’t deplete itself. We need to buy cars with minimum fuel efficiency. We need to leave the lights on. By simply letting your car idle while parked, you can increase your carbon footprint astronomically. If you only buy food grown at least 1000 miles away you can help out so much. If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. So please, let's all work for a brighter future.

LIVR

Your future is a daydream. You're forgetting that human carbon emissions make up about 1% of the global total (most of it comes from volcanoes and animal respiration). You'll really have to work hard, burning everything in sight and getting lots of people to exercise to make your warm future happen.

Remember these changes don't happen by themselves. You are the future!

Michael Kras

LIVR, Are you a motivational speaker?

Very good short report, Liam... I quite liked it. That's all I can really say since I know embarassingly little about environmental issues.